More summer, 19 months after.

It's tough to blog in the summer because the internet is very spotty.  It must have something to do with the volume of use while kids are out of school.  The best hours are early morning.  After 10:00 AM you can forget it.  It might work for a few minutes and then it's gone again.

Secondly, my husband has put me to much slave labor:  painting, digging, moving rocks, gravel, mulch, planting flowers, bushes and a tree.  I got an Amur cherry from the nursery, transported it and dug the hole and planted it--all by myself.  Sadly, the root ball kind of fell apart when the thing came out of the pot.  The contents was sopping wet.  So far the tree looks like it is still living.  I had split perennials earlier in the spring which have been growing in the vegetable garden.  They are now going out to the new garden.

My husband says it's not "slave" labor, since I also own the place.  OK, then it's "wife" labor, I guess.  I am doing it with more gratitude since speaking with someone, who herself is too ill to do yard work but would love to do it.

I can feel my sore muscles every day which is great, they must be getting stronger.  I am not even listening to Issues.etc  on the pod player anymore during this slave labor.-- This is another good sign.  I can go for a stretch of manual labor without cognitive stimulation and not start getting upset.  This is an accomplishment and a blessing after bereavement.  I don't know if others would understand that.  After the wedding, too, the outlook on life is a little different, a little brighter and lighter.  And I am moving to a new house.

And we have started riding our bicycles.  Stefan had got me out buying myself a decent bike some time before he died, along with gloves and jacket and all things  TOTALLY necessary by his standards (which is many more than I would have thought).  Every time he went with me, there were, of course, other things he also needed in addition to what he already had.  So I am well equipped, only I haven't yet put the wheel on by myself.  Stefan was always very chivalrous when he took me biking.  He took the lead and showed me what to do.  He fiddled with my bike.  It was great fun except he was miles ahead of me in seconds and gone.  I have ridden through the forest where I usually walk, bumps and uphill and downhill and all. I have figured that this is a nice way to remember him without getting upset.  You can't really cry while you're whizzing through the landscape with the breeze in your face.  Try it, it can't be done.