If you must know, the mother of the bride went into basket case mode right away. When Stefan's little brother came down the isle with the rings with he girls, I was done for and never quite recovered the rest of the day. Crying is very bad for me, but I never got a headache, at least. I don't think I look very good on any of the pictures, and this could have been part of the problem. Other than that I think getting done up is not something that really helps. I will gladly keep things simple. I am desperately trying to get myself untagged from all kinds of pictures on facebook. But with the onslaught of pictures, it is hard to keep up with that. Ack.
There were other people who complained about how ugly, plain, chubby, etc. they are. I started quoting them a song from Mattias Claudius, "Ich freue mich und danke Gott" (http://ingeb.org/Lieder/ichdanke.html), in which among other things, you thank God for your very own face, just the way it is. They told me I was whining about my own weight and was being hypocritical (--that's the German youth for you, nowadays, what can I say :). What is it with this finding of discrepancies. :)).
Mother of the bride was not the only basket case. I was told some young men were crying on the other side of the church and someone was wondering "why". I cannot quite imagine how someone could not know "why" right away. But maybe it's not that obvious. Stefan's friends are nowhere near over his death. Something like this will stick with them for life, like for us.
There were some others dissolved in tears around my neck later on, and I tried to comfort them the best I could talking about the other wedding banquet, which was on my soul anyhow from all this preparing for a wedding... -- It was all a little much for the emotional capacity. You may pray for this happy, sad congregation we had, and the youth of our towns. The young people keep grieving just like the immediate family. They lose too many friends. But basically we tried all day not to push too many emotional buttons.
On the other hand, the bridal couple was completely radiant, and we have been given such a great gift in them, and they in each other. The groom was shining like the sun when the vows were said to him. I have never quite seen such a thing. God bless their union. To have such a marvelous daughter and excellent God-son/son-in-law is a most astonishing blessing. For them and all of us, it is also most wonderful to have so many great sets of families, who all came to the wedding. The openness in adoption has certainly worked very well for all involved.
There was also an experienced social worker present that day, who talked generally about some cases, and remarked on how this was really the way to do it. Too many children have no roots and no good, meaningful connections. I can tell you, as an adoptive parent, you really do have to learn to share, but that's not such a bad thing. As much as we say that your adopted children are your very own children, there are differences. But now they are founding their own family, and we are all part of their lives. Most of all, if we are oriented toward the Lord, we will know that we are all blood brothers and sisters and part of the same family, anyways. Thanks be to him for all great gifts. And his will we receive in this context, even if we do not understand.
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