What do you say when people continually ask you how you are?
And then they ask how your husband is and how your daughter is...
Come to think of it, I've done the same thing. Asked ever so compassionately how someone is doing...
It's not a bad thing. Indeed, it would be worse if no one cared.
Yet, every time you are forced to make a decision to just say: we're doing ok. we're managing. we're coping. we're keeping busy. -- or to tell them something more.
It's hard work. You have take your cue from the situation, the person, where you're at yourself at the moment. To share or not to share and what is the question. It's never the same unless you are going by rote. It's like law and gospel; we are all in a different place with that at different times. You have to actually be in dialogue, listen and care.
Then there is the silly thing of what kind of image you are projecting. You don't want to look like a basket case, nor like you have no feelings. You need to seem reasonably sad and composed at the same time. This is ridiculous. I'm not much into pretending but you don't want to be offensive.
Truth is, it is always changing. Sometimes we're sad. Sometimes we're bitter. Sometimes we're overwhelmed. Sometimes we're relieved. Sometimes we're ok. Sometimes we are content. Sometimes we are happy. Often we nurse regrets over what could have, should have, might have... But we quickly let that go. It helps nothing.
There you go, that's how we are. All over the map. Probably, just like most people.
If people would asked me not how I am, but what I am thinking about, that would be easier to answer. I think about God and Stefan, and Martin and Andrea, and all our families and all my godchilddren, and about someday getting around to getting my bookkeeping, banking, taxes done.
There's actually no change here. That's what I've always been thinking about. Sometimes in different orders of priority. Now that I'm thinking about it the booking/taxes category needs to move up much higher in priority. There you are: How am I? I am worried about not getting the tax stuff together.
Approach to Outreach
3 hours ago