Male and Female cont. / Why Plath?

Dear Blog:  I am busy.

But just this to counterbalance the previous post:

(from a friend's Facebook Post)

And how did I come upon S. Plath, the poetess?  On the same Facebook page she was mentioned a few times.  I had looked her up once in a while and learned about her life.  I was at Chapters and I bought a book of poems, with my own money--no library loan.

So, now she sits on the fireplace mantle, next to Luther and Walther devotional material.

To counterbalance the whole difficult scene, let's add this one also, from the same Facebook page:

But love, sooner or later, forces us out of time. It does not accept that limit. Of all that we feel and do, all the virtues and all the sins, love alone crowds us at last over the edge of the world. For love is always more than a little strange here. It is not explainable or even justifiable. It is itself the justifier. We do not make it. If it did not happen to us, we could not imagine it. It includes the world and time as a pregnant woman includes her child whose wrongs she will suffer and forgive. It is in the world but not altogether of it. It is of eternity. It takes us there when it most holds us here.

~ Wendell Berry 

We see here, too, that love is much about suffering and forgiving--two sides of the coin.  Marriage is fun and marriage is hard work.  

We have Love Life Conference 10, today, on "Confusion and Repentance in a Sexualized world."  You are invited.

Women's Issues / Honor Diaries

Last night, I finally viewed the "Honor Diaries" on Netflix.  It is only one hour in length and presents the views and voices of a variety of women, some Muslim, some Christian from the Middle East, and some Sikh.

The concept of "honor" is explored, especially in "patriarchal" societies.  The honor of a family seems to be deeply connected to the subjugation and conduct of women.  With Sharia law there are expectations for women's decent behavior but they are not clearly spelled out, leaving women exposed to the vagaries of  subjective judgments and unexpected harassment, dangers and punishments.

Girls are married off as child brides, or have no say in choosing a husband. They must stay in the house, they may be deprived of education, employment, normal freedoms and joys.  They suffer female circumcision, acid in the face, threats, intimidation, beatings and are murdered.  The cruelty is astounding and reprehensible.  How can you treat a child or a woman in such fashion?  How can you treat a wife like a slave?

In the name of "Honor".

We keep hearing that so many millions and billions of people are Muslims;  however, we see that many of them are enslaved, especially the women,  It obvious to say that females make up 50% of the population.

Honor Diaries challenges us to stand with these abused women.

This interesting article on BBC about early satiric cartoons in Islam also illustrates what women deal with: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-31640643

On Netflix, a recent movie about a girl in Saudi Arabia who would like to ride a bicycle, filmed on location in Saudi Arabia, demonstrates the cruel restrictions placed on women's lives.
It is called "Wadjda".  Wadjda is the name of the 10 year old girl.  She is able to ride a bicycle at the end of the movie, which provides a moment of hope and vision for the future.



I really recommend the movie.  My husband laughed through it, enjoying the girls spirit. I found more to cry about than laugh about.

As a Christian woman, I always feel bewildered by the extremes which abound.  On one hand, we have those who want to radically redefine who and what people are, seemingly hell-bent on abolishing the traditional family, favoring every sexual perversion knowable to man and womankind, and needing to teach every soul about that from Kindergarden on...  On the other hand, we have those who want to repress women sexually, emotionally, vocationally.  They can hardly aspire to anything at all besides bearing male offspring.

There is really only one answer, and it is to promote Christian marriage in the freedom of the Gospel.  We are free to live decently, and honorably, with God's help.   It is for freedom Christ has set us free. Galations 5.

Conjugal vs. commercial view of marriage and children / adoption/ in-vitro/ pets

A couple of posts ago we linked to a story of human rights and marriage and made a few comments.

Over the weekend I did have a chance to talk to my husband about it, and it threw up the predictable point about being adoptive parents, and then also in-vitro fertilization.  Personally, having gone through the fertility mill and having felt the full gamut of emotions associated with it, I would still say that I would not participate in in-vitro fertilization for the simple fact that the extra embryos have to be dealt with somehow.  Who or what are they?  Are they not also my children?  But they are good for disposal?  I want a child so badly that I will throw several out?  I couldn't do it.

In terms of adoption, I mentioned already that the adopted person has a right to an origin story better than "Oh, we wanted a child so badly and  God sent you to us."  The adopted person does not exist to make his or her parents happy.  This is not good enough. Similarly, gay couples who just have to have children in their lives, must have a better story than: oh well, so and so helped us have a  baby, how loving and caring of him or her. It is not human enough.  It disregards basic human nature, creation and need for meaning and attachment.

On the radio, today, I listened to several authors interviewed on the topic of attachment to pets.  One of the speakers believed that the current language and understanding of human to animal care is too often couched in language of "baby" or even "lover";  in any case, everyone seems to look for unconditional love.  As individuals mature they need to accommodate themselves to others and sometimes also get their ego's bashed in.  This does not happen with a dog. It is easier to love a dog.  People took different points of view on this and pointed out that dog love does not preclude human love and mature relationships.  Granted that, but the question is with our changes in family structure, everyone working, 50% divorce rates, etc. are we looking to love from pets rather than other sources?  And what does it say about our view of children and pets in comparison?  Do we view children as pets?  And do we view dogs as children?  It can happen and I think we would all say that this is disordered and we perhaps need to analyze our relationships a bit more deeply.

My point, our relationships to parent, spouse and children are fundamentally not like our relationships to pets.  There can be "love" and affection in these relationships, but "love" has to be more than a feeling.  "Love" has to have a story.  Love has to have sacrifice.  Love has be designed by the maker.  Love can never be a commodity.  And a new person needs to know the conjugal relationship that created him.

Critical or unsupportive spouse a major cause in depression

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/05/01/180290358/mate-doesnt-have-your-back-that-boosts-depression-risk?utm_source=NPR&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=20130502

Love is work

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/02/does-love-require-work.html

Nice post and blog.