The last several years have represented a complete collapse of my old world. That is how it seemed and felt. The world of the last thirty years or so. The world of new marriage and family, of business, management, staffing, music lessons, living in the country, being with young folk, having everyone drive out to get their teeth fixed and then coming over for coffee or dinner. It all stopped at once. And Stefan died. All of it at once. And the dog died, too. I wasn't going to mention that. There were not many who walked with me through this valley of the shadow of death. Not many, AT ALL.
New things start.
New people enter your life, as you branch out again.
You try yourself at different things.
A slow spring. A slow resurrection.
Stops and starts, like an endless April.
Not everything works.
Somethings don't work at all, anymore.
I was thinking about how in the new situations, it turned out that it was Christian people who provided the encouragement, the respect, the care, the basic human decency and respect I needed. But not only. There are others. Christians have a better sense of community than many others. There is a desire to include where often you meet only exclusion. There were also some very bad people. And some who like to confuse, and I don't know if they are good or bad. They do it on purpose.
They think it is a useful game. -- It does not feel like it to me. Intellectually, it could be rationalized, maybe, but emotionally, I can't rationalize it. It is supposed to be humanistic but it does not seem human or humane.
When I think back over my life and decide which have been the most wonderful people to be with, I have to say, hands-down, it was the fellow peer-counselors at the Pregnancy Crisis Center. They stand out for listening, for praying, for holding your hand and being Christ to you. They heard serious stories and they gave serious ear and they prayed with you about your concerns--here and now, and out loud. They shed serious tears with those who were despairing. They shared the word and they offered help. They have been my favorite people, ever.
Amen.
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