Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Company is gone/ 27 months

It was a great pleasure to host my sister's family.  Thankfully, it was warmer and we could enjoy a variety of activities and outings.  Just before the roads had been nothing but treacherous ice.

Often it had been hard on me to spend time with Stefan's cousins as I would miss him among them and interacting with them.  This was very poignant for me and I wonder if it was for them.  But two years does seem like a time where things appear not as acute.  Still there are always different things that remind you of him and which hurt. There is always something else, something new.

For example we watched a movie together last week:  A Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger.  We all know who Heath Ledger is and that he died at 28 in the midst of life.  So when I watch Heath Ledger swing up and down the horse and be daring and win all his matches, see his blond hair fly, court a girl, be romantic writing poems, dancing... I have to think of Stefan.  He was like that:  active, blond, energetic, strong, romantic, busy, soulful, heroic, vulnerable.

All of our men are heroic and vulnerable.  It's an amazing thing to love them.


Steve Martin said...

It's an odd thing. Although I never met your son, I miss him, too.

I am looking forward to meeting him one day.

God bless you, Brigitte.

Brigitte said...

You're making me cry.

That's the difficult thing for people. Address the hurt and risk something or walk past and ignore.

There is a time for each, maybe. But better talked about at some time then never raised.

It's difficult in person. People rarely do it in person.

But the loss goes on and we can live with it. This is life and this is death and all in God's hand. But people need to know that it goes on and on.

Think of Jacob going on and on over Joseph.

Parenting is so beautiful and so hard. We can learn so much.